True gallows humor - in a dad joke. Well done. (Seriously)

I’m going to sit down in the corner over there and weep quietly now.

By “homelab”, do you mean your local network? I tend to use shared folders, kdeconnect, or WebDAV.

I like WebDAV, which i can activate on Android with DavX5 and Material Files, and i use it for Joplin.

Nice thing about this setup is that i also have a certificate secured OpenVPN, so in a pinch i can access it all remotely when necessary by activating that vpn, then disconnecting.